My weigh-in is now just over a week away and while that’s sufficient time to possibly “game” the result a little, ie starve myself for the few days preceding the weigh-in, I’m not going to do that. I want to get off this yoyo merry-go-round. I want to do this properly. I also set out when I started this Paleo lark to see if it would actually work and I can’t do that if I cheat. For gaming a weigh-in is cheating same as standing on the scales with one foot on and one off!
How to game a weigh-in!
Having said that, thought it might be a bit of fun to recall for you the various ways I used to game my weigh-ins when I belonged to a slimming group. Our weigh-ins were on a Tuesday night though you could attend other meetings if you wanted to. Bit like AA! Or so I’m reliably informed. Having never been to an AA meeting I hasten to add.
The day of the weigh-in I would eat as little as I possibly could. Was extremely important not to drink anything because fluid always sent your weight up. Letting fluids out but not back in was a way of trying to game it, if only a little.
But if you feared that wouldn’t be sufficient for the arrow to point in your direction, ie downwards from last week, you could always try another trick. A VERY hot bath prior to weigh in. As hot as you can stand it and staying in as long as you can. My partner who’s ex-military and once boxed for The Army also suggested a mustard bath! That too can help you get down to your fighting weight – literally in his case. Maybe jockeys do that too?
Next you needed to wear the lightest, skimpiest, clothes you could find. Fine in Summer. Not so hot in Winter, ho ho ho d’you see what I did there! And be sure of course to take off your shoes when you weighed in. Go late and join the queue at the end. Be weighed last. Delay for as long as possible. Or… go early, get weighed and then go hide somewhere and eat that sandwich you’ve stashed ready for gorging immediately after your weigh-in because you are, of course, by then absolutely starving!
Eating after weigh-in doesn’t count!
Anything you eat after your weigh-in doesn’t count. So, just for that evening, that was the time to go mad. We used to go for a drink afterwards and gorge on peanuts, crisps and other forbidden foods. “Doesn’t count tonight!” we’d gaily declare as if released from prison. Which diets are a bit like. Which is why they don’t work. Even the most masochistic of us eventually tired of self flagellation and punishment. Self denial doesn’t work. Never has. Never will.
I did achieve my goal weight and I did maintain it for a while. And you can’t entirely do that from gaming it every week. I lost two and a half stone in all. But what gaming it sometimes did was give me a confidence boost to continue. Kind of, it’s working, I’ll stick with it. It was always much harder to get back on the programme if you’d stayed the same weight or, shame-covered time, put some back on!
This time it’s different
I’m not engaging in any of that activity anymore though I have to admit, it was a fun. I still see some former members of my slimming group in town. We’re all a lot bigger now! Whatever we lost, we put back on. How else does the slimming industry rake in billions of pounds every year? It’s selling failure! If everyone who dieted succeeded, there’d be no industry.
Not for nothing is one of the world’s biggest and most famous slimming groups owned by a food manufacturer! Though its humble origins were just a woman and her friends following a diet and weighing in at each other’s houses every week.
Back to early ideals
This blog is trying to get back to that ideal. No one is making any money from this. This is pure and genuine sharing. This is the spirit of the internet as intended by Tim Berners-Lee. As intended by the many hippies who once embraced technology as a way of connecting, not making mega bucks.
And getting back to early ideals is kind of what this diet is too. Paleolithic. How we used to eat, or as close to it as we can get. That’s why I’m not gaming my weigh-in next week and that’s why I think this time it’s different. It really is.
Have a good Wednesday. Thanks for reading.